Juan Antonio once said...

Juan Antonio Samaranch once said that a man does never get in life what he truly deserves, he only gets what he has fought for. At the time, when I read his quote, which was back in 2004, I did not really give it a lot of attention. But over the years, my own life has caused me several times to go back in time and to reflect upon the cross-roads that bore significance to the course of my life’s path. There were certainly instances, where had I taken the red pill instead of the blue the outcome would have been fundamentally different. But being prone to mistakes, as I would call them in hindsight life’s equilibrium made sure that I wasn’t going to avoid the bill.

Being motivated by an unthinkable amount of ambition and with the belief that the prosperity in my life would be progressively increasing, I neglected any thought of a fallback cushion that could provide relief in the rainy days. The notion of rainy days did not exist in my thinking at all. And here I am. One rainy day after the other in the last five years and the only comfort I can draw is to be found in my box of memories. No recent memories though, only the ones that were acquired at the cost of prudence. The odd thing, however, is that had I the chance to do it all over again, I would probably change only a small percentage of the things that I have done.

Does that mean, no regrets? I will answer the German way by saying “Jein”, which is a fabricated word combining both, the “Yes” and the “No”. I guess who and what I am today is for the most part attributable to my choices of the past, which formed me. Do I like my current predicament and my current life? I most certainly do not, and I believe that I deserve better. We all do. But the quote of Juan Antonio haunts me. Time haunts me on a different level. I try to appreciate what I have and I definitively do not undervalue my own strong health and the health of the people that matter to me. Would I trade that against monetary wealth? Definitely not. Which reminds me of a more humorous quote that says “better rich and healthy than poor and sick”. Given the certainty of taxes and death in life, I am struggling heavily with the former. Living in a country that asks for 80% of what I make I find it hard to enjoy life. I feel more like the sucker that is being prostituted by a government that is lacking any notion of decency and which finds it ok to overtax me without providing anything in return. There is no social welfare, there is no functional health system, no functional public education or roads other than private ones for which I need to pay dearly and the public dialogue can be defined as hypocritical at best.

I do believe in balanced situations. Policy makers should make it their primary objective to create balance in society. We can’t continuously live on the edge, or in-between extremes. That is too tiring and extremely counter-productive for anyone in the long run. Society is exhausted. I am exhausted. I spend most of my energy in trying to preserve my sanity. This cannot be it. Even the most desperate deserve a beacon of hope. Governments are responsible to provide that. And to avoid conflict and division or the continuous disregard of society. Wake up finally. The bomb is ticking. Let us not entirely self-define what we think is worth fighting for!